We all have challenges to face.  Who hasn’t been running late when your dog REFUSES to go to the bathroom?  And there’s nothing you can do except wait in frustration.

But, not all challenges leave you so hopeless, even though they might feel like it at the time.

As a police officer, I faced many challenging and scary situations.  In general though, I could foresee these challenges and train for them.  I was able to prepare myself.

One particular challenge, however, made me wonder if I would ever be able to deal with it.  I wasn’t sure I had what it took.

I’ve had several great mentors in my life.  I feel very fortunate to have learned from all of them.  And, thankfully, I always had a mentor at work in my police career.

Until I didn’t…

My last mentor retired.  I felt like my security blanket had been stripped away from me.  He always took time to hear out my questions, problems, and frustrations.  And, he always seemed to have a good answer for me.  (He even performed the wedding reception to my beautiful wife Julie!)

I felt vulnerable without him at work each day.  But what could I do?  I had to deal with the problems myself now.  

Sure, I could always call him.  And I know he would answer.  But I wasn’t going to call him with every little issue I had.  That would be silly.

So, what did I do?  How did I overcome this vulnerability?

I took 3 simple steps.  Here they are:

1- When I was faced with a problem, I took a moment to think, “What would my mentor say I should do?”

I have a talent.  When someone wise speaks, I shut my mouth and listen.  And, I remember what they say.  

Over time, I get to pretty much know what someone will say when giving advice.  So, I can play these scenarios out in my head.  What would my mentor suggest right now?

It’s much easier to just ask them and listen to the answer.  But, of course, that can’t always happen.  This is the next best thing.

2- Every problem has an answer.  Take your time to find it.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by a problem only to have someone give you an obvious solution?  It’s happened to me many times.  A problem seemed insurmountable.  But those were just my emotions and stress getting in the way.

I am certain that I have not faced any challenge that thousands of people have faced before me.  I’m not that special.

Breathe.  Take a moment and think things through.  

My mentors always seemed so relaxed when I approached them with a problem.  That’s probably because they faced it before, or something very similar.  

And, in the end, I probably knew the answer already.  I just couldn’t relax enough to see it at the moment.  This takes practice.

3- My mentors had faith in me.  That’s why they helped me.  I have to have the same faith in myself.

You don’t send ducks to eagle school.  No matter how hard they try, they will still be a duck in the end.  So, don’t do that.  The eagles won’t appreciate it.

My mentors were all accomplished and respected people.  They weren’t going to waste their time with a degenerate.  

Why?

Because it would be a waste of their time.  They would still be degenerate, even after all the good advice they were given.

My mentors did not find me to be a degenerate.  They found me to be a person of potential, and therefore worth their time.

I found my mentors to be great judges of character.  I trust their judgment.  This made me realize that I must have more potential than I realized.  This was a game changer.

The dojo is full of worthy mentors.  It’s an amazing place to learn from so many people.

There is time to study our problems and overcome them.

And I have faith that every student willing to learn can become a mentor for someone else.

I found myself in this position in the second half of my police career.  I wasn’t a mentor to everyone, but to some I was.  And I see the awesome work some of them are still doing.  I’m so proud of having a little part of that.  It’s an amazing feeling.

I’m equally excited to see the mentorship roles that many students at the dojo will grow into.  It’s just beginning!